Hey, it’s Monday and time for a whole new set of rants and ravings. And these days one needn’t look very far to find them.

For some reason, the newspeople have been making great hay out of a picture of Chelsea Clinton that appeared in People magazine. Apparently some people are upset over it. She’s in some guy’s arms and her nipples are erect. I don’t think it’s so bad. Hell, it’s the first time I’ve ever found her even remotely appealing. They say her face also reflects “bedroom pleasures”. Can’t vouch for that, as I can’t remember what that looks like.

The state natural resources people have been running around all summer like the Keystone Kops. Something called a Northern Snakehead fish was found in a pond. According to the state people this non-native fish is a voracious apex predator and can walk on land. True this may be, but in that area the fish would need crossing guards and shoes to keep its fins off of the hot asphalt if it decided to go for a stroll. Anyway, they decided to poison the fish. But they couldn’t just poison the damn thing. They took a good month to trip all over themselves and make plans and train people and who knows what else. Then they still couldn’t bring themselves to do what they had decided to do. They decided to kill the vegetation in the pond and several nearby ponds first, and maybe the fish would suffocate. Three days later they were shocked that fish weren’t floating to the top. It’s called mass transfer and partial pressure of oxygen, boys and girls. Unless there are a lot of fish in there sucking down oxygen (and presumably our “voracious predator” took care of that problem), the oxygen in the pond will equilibrate with the oxygen in the air to maintain a partial pressure of 100%, thus supporting aquatic life. Amidst great weeping and wailing, they finally went and poisoned the ponds.

Better living through technology. The ten freaking thousand dollar computer program that runs the bioreactors here burped over the weekend. Some day I’m gonna find the guy responsible for that program and see how well he can walk with a CD-ROM stuck up his ass.

What’s up with Florida? Should we just ban them from voting at all in that state? And what set of morons would set up voting machines then wait until election day to try and figure out how to operate them?

I have a 200mM solution. That would be 29.23 grams per liter. I want a final dilution of 0.365 grams in one liter. Lemme see…One liter at 0.365 divided by number of months with 30 days, multiplied by number of days since I’ve had sex…Oops, too many zeros there…Wait…Got it. Add 12.5 ml of solution to one liter.

Now that I’ve figured that out, it’s off to the lab.