Almost tossed a coach from a game today. Ultimately I decided tossing him wouldn't help, but in retrospect it would have made me feel better. Next game his butt is mine, though. I'm just not going to put up with him.

He started whining about a couple of somewhat flat pitches one of the girls threw. Yes, they didn't have the world's greatest arc, but they were hittable, and that's my standard. He's one of these guys who likes to make snide comments while your back is turned. I heard him say "The baseball field is over that way", referencing the fact that he thought there wasn't enough arc on the pitches.

So then, right at the end of the game, there was a terrific play at home. The catcher stretched way out on the ground and caught a throw from third and managed to keep her foot on the plate. It was exciting, and I yelled "Out" just before I saw the ball roll out from under the catcher. Now, this is exactly what they tell you not to do. "Watch the play go through" is the teaching catchphrase. Think for a second. Rewind it in your head if you have to. Coaches hate this. They want a call RIGHT NOW and will start going "Well? Well?" if you take more than three nanoseconds to make a call, but that's just tough. I've made them wait more than once. But anyway, I jumped the gun in the excitement of the play and made the wrong call. Two seconds later I pointed at the catcher (who is a really nice kid) and said "You dropped it, the runner is safe".

At this point the coach on the team that had just scored the run called over to me and said "The catcher dropped the ball, right?". Yes. "So the run scored?" Yes.

Then the coach who had been whining about the pitches says "What's this? You're letting him make your calls for you?". I got furious and shouted him back down, but stopped short of tossing him of the field. It probably would have made me look like I was in the wrong and trying to cover it over. I went up to him after the game and explained in one-syllable words exactly what had transpired. I don't think he liked it, but he can lick my sphincter.

Oh, and coach whiner's team won the damn game 18-4.